The unconditional love we have for our families can be incredibly healing, especially for those who have struggled with eating disorders. Parenthood, with its inherent love and acceptance, can serve as a powerful motivator for recovery. Yet, as much as we cherish these moments, we also recognize the challenges they bring, particularly for individuals with eating disorders.

We should be exploring questions around the perception that excessive weight is a health problem, the dangers of intentional weight loss, and the conversations that uncover this controversial topic.

Just last year, The American Academy of Pediatrics put out (terrible) guidelines, that in a nutshell, give the “go-ahead” to evaluate children for weight loss medication and/or surgery. Weight loss surgery is completely irreversible. So why is it being recommended? There are many challenges that individuals will face when deciding to undergo weight loss surgery. Not only the painful physical challenges but the mental and emotional ones as well.

Everyone seems to have an opinion, you've probably encountered unsolicited advice and opinions from well-meaning (or not-so-well-meaning) friends or family. But here's the thing – You are not on a mission to help them see the world the way that you do. You are not on a mission to help them understand intuitive eating and eating disorder recovery.

When we view mental illnesses as medical illnesses, we are going to miss the nuance that is associated with emotions and psychology. There is no official proven line of treatment (I mean meds here) for eating disorders. But typically the individual also has some version of insert mental illness here and meds could be really helpful.

Someone who is more prone to feeling intolerable emotions is generally more prone to lean into any sort of eating disorder behaviors, substance abuse, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. The feelings they feel are so big and so intolerable, no wonder they’ll want relief from the pain.

So I think the biggest question here is: if you are a person who is highly sensitive, how do you deal with intense emotions?

But the question is, why is this a controversial topic? MAID is not a new construct. It has been utilized around the world with different controversies for many years as a way of ethically, compassionately, and humanely allowing people to have a dignified way of dying. In modern-day science or modern psychology, we don’t have a way to alleviate the suffering of someone who is battling a severe mental health condition. While I acknowledge that different medications serve their purposes, the question remains: why is there a difference between “mental illnesses” and “physical illnesses”? Is there even a difference?

I'm sure many of you have experienced this, especially after spending time with family during the holidays. Whether it's a recent struggle or an ongoing issue, the key question is why you don't want to eat. Yes, it might sound cliché, and you probably saw it coming from me, but it's crucial because your answer guides the approach.

What comes to mind when you hear the term “body positivity”? First off, it’s become a mainstream concept. Body neutrality, all foods fit, and body positivity are all terms to describe a phase of coming to terms with your body. However, we have to recognize that this approach may not resonate with everyone seeking help. While we shift towards inclusivity, we also inadvertently exclude individuals who may not be ready or comfortable with these concepts. These individuals hear these terms and think “Nope, I want nothing to do with this” and run from treatment. 

There is a cultural shift within the Orthodox Jewish community due to the internet, where appearance ideals have become pervasive, challenging the community's perceived protective measures. The learning curve lies in recognizing these changes and understanding that even with a more insular lifestyle, the community is not immune to the impact of societal influences on body image and eating habits.

When someone firmly establishes a boundary, that’s part of what we’d call being assertive. These qualities go hand in hand. For a lot of folks, it’s the hardest thing to do and we practice doing so in recovery. In contrast, there are totally those who don’t have a problem with voicing their opinions and clearly stating their boundaries but it can come across as pretty aggressive. I don’t consider the “aggressive” way of interacting assertive. In fact, it’s the other side of the same issue as not speaking up enough. That’s why I say 100% of people struggle with assertiveness because it comes from one side or another.

Let’s first acknowledge that there is no fixed framework for the therapeutic relationship. We know that each person's experience is unique. How close we get to the edges of this metaphorical frame varies from person to person and might change over time. But ultimately, most sessions follow a set of “rules”.