I'm sure many of you have experienced this, especially after spending time with family during the holidays. Whether it's a recent struggle or an ongoing issue, the key question is why you don't want to eat. Yes, it might sound cliché, and you probably saw it coming from me, but it's crucial because your answer guides the approach.

What comes to mind when you hear the term “body positivity”? First off, it’s become a mainstream concept. Body neutrality, all foods fit, and body positivity are all terms to describe a phase of coming to terms with your body. However, we have to recognize that this approach may not resonate with everyone seeking help. While we shift towards inclusivity, we also inadvertently exclude individuals who may not be ready or comfortable with these concepts. These individuals hear these terms and think “Nope, I want nothing to do with this” and run from treatment. 

There is a cultural shift within the Orthodox Jewish community due to the internet, where appearance ideals have become pervasive, challenging the community's perceived protective measures. The learning curve lies in recognizing these changes and understanding that even with a more insular lifestyle, the community is not immune to the impact of societal influences on body image and eating habits.

When someone firmly establishes a boundary, that’s part of what we’d call being assertive. These qualities go hand in hand. For a lot of folks, it’s the hardest thing to do and we practice doing so in recovery. In contrast, there are totally those who don’t have a problem with voicing their opinions and clearly stating their boundaries but it can come across as pretty aggressive. I don’t consider the “aggressive” way of interacting assertive. In fact, it’s the other side of the same issue as not speaking up enough. That’s why I say 100% of people struggle with assertiveness because it comes from one side or another.

Let’s first acknowledge that there is no fixed framework for the therapeutic relationship. We know that each person's experience is unique. How close we get to the edges of this metaphorical frame varies from person to person and might change over time. But ultimately, most sessions follow a set of “rules”.