The 1 Thing That Affects Every Single Person with an ED
100% of people who struggle with their relationship with food, also struggle with assertiveness and boundaries.
Okay, now that I have your attention, maybe let’s say 95% just to be safe, even though it’s 100% of the people that I’ve met. Regardless, it is an issue for many people to have the courage to speak up and say what’s on their mind. It's a common hurdle that people face when trying to navigate the delicate balance between setting boundaries and practicing assertiveness. The interesting part is, these two aspects are intricately intertwined.
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When someone firmly establishes a boundary, that’s part of what we’d call being assertive. These qualities go hand in hand. For a lot of folks, it’s the hardest thing to do and we practice doing so in recovery. In contrast, there are totally those who don’t have a problem with voicing their opinions and clearly stating their boundaries but it can come across as pretty aggressive. I don’t consider the “aggressive” way of interacting assertive. In fact, it’s the other side of the same issue as not speaking up enough. That’s why I say 100% of people struggle with assertiveness because it comes from one side or another.
So let’s dive into it!
In this episode, I am talking about:
The connection between struggling with the relationship with food and the need to work on assertiveness and boundaries.
What assertiveness is defined as, and how it’s crucial for improving your relationship with food.
How boundaries are interconnected with assertiveness.
The value of speaking up and being assertive in maintaining a connection with others.
The consequences of keeping things to yourself.
Exploring the misconception that saying things out loud won't lead to change and the underrated power of being heard.
The difference between thoughts in the mind and saying things out loud.
How verbalizing thoughts can create a transformative shift.
The importance of direct and respectful communication.
Tips for being assertive, including identifying emotions, using "I feel" statements, and clearly stating what is needed from the other person.
The parallel between assertiveness in communication and the use of eating disorder behaviors to communicate.
The significance of trust in relationships.
Encouragement to explore the psychodynamics of assertiveness.
Tweetable Quotes
"Assertiveness is this sort of happy medium of where you're speaking your mind, but you're doing so respectfully." - Rachelle Heinemann
"When you say things out loud, and we have them heard, even if they don't change anything, the value of just being heard and understood or even offered an apology with nothing actually changing is so important." - Rachelle Heinemann
"Almost 100% of the people that struggle with their relationship with food end up having to deal with this particular struggle with setting boundaries and assertiveness." - Rachelle Heinemann
"If you truly are assertive, kudos to you.” - Rachelle Heinemann
Resources
Grab my Healing Journal Prompts!
Related Episodes
Episode 105. The Root of Your Emotional Eating
Episode 99. Intuition, Decisions, and Food
Episode 94. Unraveling the Truth: It's Not About the Food
Episode 88. Did We Take Intuitive Eating Too Far?
Episode 84. Binge-y Eating Disorder
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Hey there! I’m Rachelle, the host of the Understanding Disordered Eating Podcast. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I work with clients to make sense of life’s messy emotional experiences.
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