How to Achieve Full Recovery with Ilene Fishman
Eating disorder recovery is often talked about…
…but what does it truly mean to heal? For many, the journey feels endless—cycling through progress and setbacks, wondering if full recovery is even possible.
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The messages we receive about food, body image, and self-worth can be overwhelming, making it difficult to break free from the patterns that keep us stuck. But real recovery isn’t just about changing behaviors; it’s about transforming the way we relate to ourselves at the deepest level.
In this episode, I sit down with therapist and author Ilene Fishman to explore what it really takes to achieve lasting recovery. We dive into the complex, sometimes uncomfortable truths about healing from an eating disorder, the importance of self-compassion, and why true freedom goes beyond simply “eating normally.”
Ilene doesn’t sugarcoat things—because, let’s face it, you’ve probably had enough well-meaning advice that didn’t actually help. She talks about why some therapy approaches fall short, why eating disorders can feel deceptively empowering at first, and what it takes to fully reclaim your life from them.
Ilene V. Fishman, LCSW, ACSW, FAED, has maintained a general psychotherapy practice specializing in the treatment of eating disorders for more than 40 years in both Montclair, NJ and New York City. Ilene helped found NEDA, serving on its Board of Directors for over a decade. She then served on the board of ProjectHEAL. Ilene speaks widely as an expert on the subject of eating disorders and is the author of the book, THE DEEPER FIX.
In this episode, I’m talking about:
What real self-esteem looks like—beyond the Instagram-worthy affirmations and self-care rituals.
Why self-esteem shouldn’t swing dramatically based on achievements, compliments, or external validation.
How to build a solid, consistent sense of self that doesn’t crumble when life throws curveballs.
The myth that accomplishing big things automatically makes you feel better about yourself (spoiler: it doesn’t).
Why doing nothing for decades would likely crush your self-worth—but also why tying it only to success is just as dangerous.
How different personalities respond to direct vs. soft approaches in therapy and personal growth.
The concept of productive suffering—feeling your feelings without getting stuck in them.
The fear of opening up in therapy and why it can feel like a risk (but a necessary one).
Why “nice” therapy that keeps you comfortable might not actually help you grow.
How to find the right therapist—one who empowers you rather than just listening and nodding.
Why eating disorders and other unhealthy coping mechanisms can feel empowering at first—but ultimately aren’t.
Why real recovery and personal growth require you to take risks, be uncomfortable, and show up for yourself.
Note: The podcast is off for the next two weeks! We will be back on April 22nd, with a new episode!
Tweetable Quotes
"I don't wanna keep people comfortable. People will talk about, ‘Oh that therapist was so nice, she was such a nice person.’ But did you get better?” - Ilene Fishman
"If we avoid our pain. If we don't suffer constructively, productively, then we're blocking ourselves." - Ilene Fishman
"Tell your therapist everything. Try to find a therapist where you can say, 'I'm afraid to start therapy with you, and these are the reasons I'm afraid.' Let's talk about it." - Ilene Fishman
"It's about taking the risk and being afraid and not really knowing what's gonna be on the other side and doing it with somebody who's gonna, who's gonna hopefully catch you, but that you need to do it scared." - Rachelle Heinemann
"Good therapy should be growthful and empowering." - Ilene Fishman
"Recovery is so worth it." - Ilene Fishman
Resources
Connect with Ilene Fishman Here!
Find Ilene Fishman on Instagram
Check out Ilene’s book: The Deeper Fix: For Your Growth and Empowerment
Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat!
Related Episodes
Episode 161. Eating Disorders and Low Self-Esteem
Episode 137. Eating Disorder Recovery Cannot Happen Without This
Episode 115. How To Recover When Everyone Around You Is Dieting
Episode 96. What ED People Got Wrong About Science with Dr. A'nna Roby
Episode 93. Eating Disorders as a Way to Communicate with Dr. Elizabeth Hamlin
Episode 92. The Gold Standard of Eating Disorder Treatment with Douglas W. Bunnell
Episode 90. How Do I Learn To Trust Myself? with Diane Barth
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Grab my FREEBIE!: As you navigate recovery, you may be feeling like something is missing. You're doing a lot of work challenging yourself with the food, your body, and exercise. You're probably working on lots of other things at the same time, like stuff at work or relationship issues.
But, still, something doesn't feel like you're getting to the bottom of it. Grab my free journal prompts below and begin to work through the emotions of healing.
More From Rachelle
Hey there! I’m Rachelle, the host of the Understanding Disordered Eating Podcast. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I work with clients to make sense of life’s messy emotional experiences.
I believe in the power of deep work and its positive impact on your life in the long term. Learn more about how we can work together here.
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