What To Do When You Feel Stuck with Sondra Kronberg
Feeling stuck isn't exclusive to one area of life; it can strike at any moment.
Whether you're battling with your career, your relationships, or, as is often the case, your relationship with food, that suffocating feeling can be all too familiar. If you've ever grappled with issues related to your relationship with food or have felt trapped in various aspects of life, this discussion is going to be a game-changer for you.
In this episode, I am chatting with Sondra Kronberg about what to do when you feel stuck, as it’s a challenge that everyone faces at some point.
Listen to the Episode Now
If this post resonates with you or makes you feel something, share it with a friend! My hope is that we can keep this important conversation going long after the post is over.
The Multifaceted Nature of Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are far from simple; they encompass emotional, behavioral, and physiological dimensions. It's a three-tiered challenge, with genetic predisposition adding another layer of complexity. Sondra mentions that physiological imbalances caused by factors like dieting or undernourishment can lead to intense cravings and compulsive behaviors, which often persist long after the initial emotional trigger is gone.
Moving Beyond Conventional Dietetics
Sondra moves against the conventional dietetics model, which revolves around meal planning. She believes that the term 'dietitian' doesn't capture the holistic approach required to address the intricate nature of eating disorders. Her deep understanding of the emotional, behavioral, and physiological facets of these conditions places her firmly in the realm of a nutrition therapist.
The Power of Words
The language we use when discussing our bodies, weight, and food can have a profound impact on our self-esteem. Sondra believes that words hold immense power, and the words we choose can shape our feelings, behaviors, and self-identity. By addressing and altering the language we use, we can take a significant step towards recovery. Sondra encourages individuals to examine their thoughts and explore the earliest thoughts that trigger their self-destructive behaviors. By identifying these thoughts, we can understand how they lead to negative feelings, behaviors, and a reinforced negative self-identity. It's a therapeutic process that aims to shift one's perspective and ultimately promote healthier self-talk.
Breaking the Cycle
Many individuals with eating disorders find themselves stuck in a cycle of self-loathing and feeling unworthy. This cycle often leads to a continuous pursuit of changing one's body through dieting or other means, reinforcing shame and self-criticism.
Helping Those Who Are Stuck
For those who feel stuck in this cycle, it's essential to acknowledge that there's a reason this behavior has served them in some way. Whether it's providing a means of comfort or a way to distance from emotional pain, there's a deeper layer to uncover. The journey to recovery involves understanding and addressing these underlying needs.
Challenges for Specific Eating Disorders
Anorexia Nervosa: Individuals with anorexia often exhibit rigid thinking, fearing change and seeking comfort in routine. The challenge is to gradually introduce small changes and nurture the idea that doing things differently is not harmful.
Bulimia Nervosa: Bulimia often involves impulsive behaviors, driven by guilt and shame. The stuckness in this case arises from a cycle of impulse and regret. It's important to help clients manage impulsivity and address the underlying emotions of guilt and shame.
Binge Eating Disorder: Those with binge eating disorder may use food to fill an emotional void, resulting in chronic longing. The cycle of stuckness involves constant attempts to satisfy this need with food, leading to guilt and self-loathing. The process of healing entails finding healthier ways to address emotional emptiness.
Recognizing the Impact of Co-Occurring Disorders
Eating disorders often coexist with other issues, such as alcoholism and sexual promiscuity. Clients with these co-occurring disorders tend to be impulsive, which can complicate their journey to recovery. Healing stuckness for them involves stability, impulse control, and the ability to keep and maintain what they take in.
Stuck Beyond Food
This concept of being stuck extends beyond food and eating behaviors. It encompasses other aspects of life, such as relationships, career opportunities, and emotional well-being. Sondra emphasizes that getting unstuck in the context of binge eating disorder is not only about food but also about developing boundaries and learning to say no when necessary.
The Continuum of Change
Change is not linear, and it often involves a lot of ups and downs. For example, some individuals with anorexia may gradually embrace a more flexible approach and exhibit behaviors typical of bulimia. Meanwhile, some clients with binge eating disorder might become more restrictive in their eating habits at times. These changes are influenced by external factors and the client's stage of growth and development.
When Belief in Healing Is a Struggle
Some clients may find it difficult to believe that they can heal and recover. In these cases, Sondra mentions that she takes a more exploratory approach. She asks clients to consider whose mindset they could temporarily adopt—like "training wheels" for their own thought processes. This shift allows them to temporarily see the world from a different perspective, which can be transformative.
Unpacking the Stigma of "Healthy" Eating
If you’ve been around for a while, you already know that I loathe the term “healthy” eating. This concept is often riddled with diet culture's messaging and the thin ideal. Challenging the desire for weight loss is a complex task. Sondra encourages clients to ask themselves if their current path is working for them, reminding them of the many diets that have led to misery. Shifting the focus from "healthy" as a weight loss goal to "healthy" as nourishment for the body and mind is a crucial part of the journey.
The Therapist's Role in a Team Approach
Eating disorder therapy often involves multiple therapists working as a team. In this collaborative approach, we function like a "reconstructive family relationship," offering clients different areas of care and support. This can be a game-changer for clients who might have missed out on emotional nourishment from their families.
Recovering from an eating disorder is a deeply personal journey that often requires addressing the psychological aspects to avoid becoming stuck.
Newsletter update: If you’re not already signed up for my newsletter, then I’m not sure what you’re waiting for! I’m ✨obsessed ✨ with it. In an effort to keep things fun and fresh, we’re going to monthly newsletters rather than weekly. If you have any feedback on what you want to see in the newsletters, reply back to one or send me a message!
Tweetable Quotes
“It's sort of like taking the pacifier away from the baby. You can't really just yank the pacifier away. You have to understand the meaning and the value and maybe offer some other opportunity when you're going to go from pacifier to bottle.” – Sondra Kronberg
“People with eating disorders are the most stuck people because they just are going around in this circle all the time.” – Sondra Kronberg
"The process of unstuckness for the binge eating disorder is to learn how to set limits and boundaries and to be able to say no.” – Sondra Kronberg
"Something about an eating disorder is if you talk to clients is that what started out as something that they decided is now deciding them." – Sondra Kronberg
Resources
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sondrakronberg/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EatingDisorderTreatmentCollaborative
Related Episodes
Episode 99. Intuition, Decisions, and Food
Episode 98. Body Stuff with Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani
Episode 79. When Recovery Isn’t Quite Recovery At All
Episode 77. How to Accept Your Body
Episode 76. The Basics of Health at Every Size
Episode 60. Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life with Jen Diaz
More From Rachelle
Hey there! I’m Rachelle, the host of the Understanding Disordered Eating Podcast. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I work with clients to make sense of life’s messy emotional experiences.
I believe in the power of deep work and its positive impact on your life in the long term. Learn more about how we can work together here.
Sign up for my weekly newsletter for even more!
You can connect with me on Instagram, through my website or email me directly clicking the links below.
Subscribe & Leave A Review!
If you enjoyed this episode, you can show your support by leaving a review, subscribing, or sharing with someone who may need help. Click here to open this show in iTunes and leave a five star rating and review.