Why Avoiding Your Feelings Makes Everything Worse with Jenna Hollenstein
You know that feeling when you’d rather do literally anything than sit with your own emotions?
Like, suddenly, cleaning out your junk drawer or reorganizing your spice rack sounds way more appealing than dealing with that uncomfortable feeling creeping in? Yeah, we’ve all been there.
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The truth is, our brains are wired to avoid pain and chase comfort—it’s a survival thing. The more we run from discomfort, the stronger it gets. It’s like that pushy friend who won’t take a hint and just keeps showing up. So, what if instead of dodging it, we actually learned to sit with it? What if facing discomfort head-on could make us more resilient, more in control, and—dare I say—even happier?
In this episode, I’m joined by Jenna Hollenstein for a second time! Last time we talked about differences within the ED treatment community and politically in general and how there is no room for differences to be expressed. Today we're talking about how to have those difficult conversations and tolerate the discomfort that comes along with it.
Jenna Hollenstein, MS, RDN, CDN, is an anti-diet dietitian-nutritionist, certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, speaker, meditation teacher, and author of five books, including Eat to Love and Intuitive Eating for Life. She blends Intuitive Eating with mindfulness to help people transform food and body shame into joyful eating and movement. Jenna received a Bachelor of Science degree in nutrition from Penn State University and a Master of Science degree in nutrition from Tufts University. She has trained in numerous integrative modalities, including polyvagal theory, somatic self-compassion, trauma-sensitive mindfulness, and embodied social justice. Jenna has spoken at universities, retreat centers, and extensively online for both consumer and clinician audiences. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, U.S. News & World Report, Yoga Journal, Health, Self, Lion’s Roar, Mindful, Vogue, Elle, Glamour, and Women’s World.
In this episode, we’re talking about:
How our brains naturally seek pleasure and avoid pain.
The Polyvagal Theory.
How mindfulness helps us acknowledge our emotions instead of ignoring them.
Why learning to sit with difficult emotions builds resilience.
Clean vs. Dirty pain.
Facing discomfort head-on to help us regain control.
How to communicate struggles in a way that fosters connection instead of conflict.
How recognizing frustration early can help us respond instead of react.
Making mistakes in emotional regulation is part of the process.
The difference between sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.
Somatic awareness and how it helps us process emotions more effectively.
How gradually increasing our tolerance for discomfort leads to long-term change.
Learning to handle discomfort leads to more fulfilling relationships and personal growth.
Ready to stop running and start actually dealing with your emotions? Listen now!
Tweetable Quotes
"We are not machines that are going to operate exactly as we want to operate." - Rachelle Heinemann
"It takes a fair amount of mindfulness to say, I'm struggling right now. And I'm going to do my best to show up to what I had planned to do." - Jenna Hollenstein
"We have to build the muscle of being with discomfort, and part of how we do that is by allowing ourselves to experience discomfort." - Jenna Hollenstein
"Sitting with your emotions doesn’t mean you have to like them—it just means you stop running from them." - Jenna Hollenstein
"Your brain thinks it’s protecting you by avoiding discomfort, but all it’s really doing is delaying the inevitable." - Jenna Hollenstein
"Growth doesn’t come from feeling good all the time. It comes from learning to be okay when things aren’t easy." - Jenna Hollenstein
"If you never let yourself sit in discomfort, how will you ever build the resilience to handle hard things?" - Jenna Hollenstein
"Most of the time, the thing we’re avoiding isn’t actually as bad as we’ve built it up to be in our heads." - Jenna Hollenstein
Resources
Connect with Jenna on Instagram!
Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out!
Learn about our 6 week body image group! If you're interested, send an email to me (rachelle@rachelleheinemann.com), or you can book a call with Sydney to see if this would be a good fit!
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Related Episodes
Episode 158. Tools for Dissociation
Episode 124. How the ED People Are Pushing the Masses Away
Episode 97. How to Handle the Hardest Situations (Clinician Series)
Episode 96. What ED People Got Wrong About Science with Dr. A'nna Roby
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Hey there! I’m Rachelle, the host of the Understanding Disordered Eating Podcast. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I work with clients to make sense of life’s messy emotional experiences.
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