Everyone seems to have an opinion, you've probably encountered unsolicited advice and opinions from well-meaning (or not-so-well-meaning) friends or family. But here's the thing – You are not on a mission to help them see the world the way that you do. You are not on a mission to help them understand intuitive eating and eating disorder recovery.

When we view mental illnesses as medical illnesses, we are going to miss the nuance that is associated with emotions and psychology. There is no official proven line of treatment (I mean meds here) for eating disorders. But typically the individual also has some version of insert mental illness here and meds could be really helpful.

Someone who is more prone to feeling intolerable emotions is generally more prone to lean into any sort of eating disorder behaviors, substance abuse, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. The feelings they feel are so big and so intolerable, no wonder they’ll want relief from the pain.

So I think the biggest question here is: if you are a person who is highly sensitive, how do you deal with intense emotions?

But the question is, why is this a controversial topic? MAID is not a new construct. It has been utilized around the world with different controversies for many years as a way of ethically, compassionately, and humanely allowing people to have a dignified way of dying. In modern-day science or modern psychology, we don’t have a way to alleviate the suffering of someone who is battling a severe mental health condition. While I acknowledge that different medications serve their purposes, the question remains: why is there a difference between “mental illnesses” and “physical illnesses”? Is there even a difference?

I'm sure many of you have experienced this, especially after spending time with family during the holidays. Whether it's a recent struggle or an ongoing issue, the key question is why you don't want to eat. Yes, it might sound cliché, and you probably saw it coming from me, but it's crucial because your answer guides the approach.

What comes to mind when you hear the term “body positivity”? First off, it’s become a mainstream concept. Body neutrality, all foods fit, and body positivity are all terms to describe a phase of coming to terms with your body. However, we have to recognize that this approach may not resonate with everyone seeking help. While we shift towards inclusivity, we also inadvertently exclude individuals who may not be ready or comfortable with these concepts. These individuals hear these terms and think “Nope, I want nothing to do with this” and run from treatment. 

There is a cultural shift within the Orthodox Jewish community due to the internet, where appearance ideals have become pervasive, challenging the community's perceived protective measures. The learning curve lies in recognizing these changes and understanding that even with a more insular lifestyle, the community is not immune to the impact of societal influences on body image and eating habits.

When someone firmly establishes a boundary, that’s part of what we’d call being assertive. These qualities go hand in hand. For a lot of folks, it’s the hardest thing to do and we practice doing so in recovery. In contrast, there are totally those who don’t have a problem with voicing their opinions and clearly stating their boundaries but it can come across as pretty aggressive. I don’t consider the “aggressive” way of interacting assertive. In fact, it’s the other side of the same issue as not speaking up enough. That’s why I say 100% of people struggle with assertiveness because it comes from one side or another.

Let’s first acknowledge that there is no fixed framework for the therapeutic relationship. We know that each person's experience is unique. How close we get to the edges of this metaphorical frame varies from person to person and might change over time. But ultimately, most sessions follow a set of “rules”.

David and I have a conversation no one is having in the eating disorder world. To be clear, no one is having because of the protective feelings we have about the ED community and how we understand it to be most helpful to those who are struggling. Me included. I do know that for a lot of ED clinicians, concerns about backlash and fear of being canceled have prevented more open dialogue about the complicated nature of different types of foods.

*If you currently have an active eating disorder and have a lot of rules in your mind, this post may be best for you to read later until you have fewer rules in your mind*

Learn more about eating disorder therapy and treatment in NYC and Brooklyn with Rachelle Heinemann at rachelleheinemann.com.

Why do people keep secrets?!

The ability to keep secrets is actually a developmental milestone. As humans, we need a sense of our own mind; we all need a sense of privacy. When a child starts to have more of a sense of self, their capacity to keep secrets increases. Secrets are not inherently bad; it is quite a milestone.

The problem becomes when secret keeping is not solely for the purpose of having a bit of space to ourselves. When it becomes obvious to a kid that something bad is happening and they get implicit (or explicit) messages to keep things quiet. When it becomes clear to a child that sharing more of themselves is not welcome. Or, when a teen needs to assert themselves so loudly in order to let others know they’ve individuated when they feel smothered.

Learn more about eating disorder therapy and treatment in NYC and Brooklyn with Rachelle Heinemann at rachelleheinemann.com.

It’s hard to determine whether a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder or not. The good thing is, that there are signs that you can look out for that can help you know when to start a conversation. In this episode, I talk about red flags and warning signs. If you see someone you love who might be experiencing any of these, you can go way back to episode 9 about what the heck to do. Spoiler: unconditional support and love go a long way.