Overeaters Anonymous Thoughts
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If that’s enough for you not to want to hear what I have to say, I totally respect that. You can skip to the next post! Don’t read something that’ll just piss you off for no good reason.
Secondly, if you attend OA and this works for you, I am so glad. You do not need me to agree with you – if it works for you, it works for you! Who am I to tell you not to go? (I know I tend to be sarcastic a lot but I am totally not sarcastic here. I am dead serious.)
That being said, this episode is about my thoughts on OA – and as you might’ve guessed, why I don’t particularly love it. We’ll talk about the 12 Step Program in general, the things I like and don’t appreciate in OA… so here we go!
Note: The information I’m relaying to you in this episode can be found on their website. Check it out if you want!
The Assessment
Overeaters Anonymous starts with a quiz that is supposed to answer the question: Am I a compulsive eater?
To be honest, their assessment questions are incredible. I LOVE them. Some of the questions are:
Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I’m stuffed or even feel sick?
Do I have feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment about my weight or the way that I eat?
Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning my next diet, counting calories, etc.?
Are there foods I cannot stop eating after having the first bite?
You can definitely check out the full questionnaire on their site. If you’re answering yes to a lot of the questions, then there might be something up with your relationship with food.
Your Identity
So here’s my understanding of how Overeaters Anonymoua approaches compulsive overeating: it feels like they have integrated the addiction into one’s identity.
It feels like people who go through the program identify with being a compulsive overeater as who they are and who they will always be, and they believe they will have to navigate the world forever with this problem.
My issue with that? I don’t really think our relationship with food is one we have to keep as part of our identity for our entire lives.
This is where I certainly get a lot of pushback. I do think that there are some people I’ve worked with who struggle with their relationship with food who do end up “managing” for their entire lives. We approach their recovery with the goal of “harm reduction,” so to speak.
But I also think there’s a lot of room to recover completely from an eating disorder and compulsive overeating … and I think Overeaters Anonymous leaves very little room for that.
Plus, I think it gets really sticky when we integrate a set of our behaviors into our identity. As if we are what we eat. Something like “I struggle with binge eating” is very different from “I am a compulsive overeater.” Maybe it’s semantics but it seems significant to me.
What You Will and Won’t Find
They talk about what you will and won’t find at OA meetings. Some things you won’t find:
Weigh-ins
Diets and pills
Packaged meals
“Should,” “must,” or judgment
So hooray 🎉 for this! I’m so glad they’re not promoting diets, pills, or judgment. Love that.
What you WILL find at meetings:
Acceptance
Understanding
Community
Communication
I think these things are so, so powerful. Going to any kind of group is unifying: seeing other people who struggle with the same is validating, and it changes the way you feel about it. I love all of these things.
And other miscellaneous things you'll find:
A spiritual component (not religion; if religion doesn’t speak to you, it doesn’t mean the program isn’t necessarily for you)
Regular meetings (consistency is important ✅)
A sponsor (having someone to talk to ✅)
All of this is really important and key to anyone’s recovery.
The 12 Steps
If you’re coming from a background of not knowing the 12 Step Program, here’s an outline of them so we have a foundation for the next part of the conversation:
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over food – that our lives had become unmanageable
So, yes, their lives probably have become unmanageable… but the powerlessness over food part bothers me. I think that’s because it’s saying the food has ALL the power, and that doesn’t really fit in the way that I understand recovery. Meaning, when you stabilize your relationship with food, things feel much less chaotic. When we admit we’re powerless, it almost gives food MORE power. I’m sure Overeaters Anonymous is not promoting an “oh well, F it” mentality but it sure can have that effect on people.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
Again, if you’re spiritual or religious, you might really identify with this. I don't love that it implies that you’re currently insane and need to be made sane again, but ok. 🙄
I do think that a good point to make here is it’s implied that it’s the Power that restores you… and not YOU who does the work. But I think there can be a medium: you do the work, and have faith it’s all going to work out, and there’s a great power in both of them.
I have to emphasize: just believing that a Power greater than yourself can restore you alone is ridiculous. YOU have to do your work. Whatever Power is out there – wonderful. Faith is very powerful and important. But to believe something else outside of yourself can heal you? C’mon. (To be fair, I doubt people in OA don’t think they have to do any of the work but I guess it’s where the emphasis is on in recovery.)
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him
Again, if you’re not religious, just swap out “God” for “the Universe,” or whatever power you want.
My problem with this one is the same as the last one. I’m gonna let you take what I said before and leave it at that. 🙃
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
I don’t necessarily think your morality is going to be a factor in your relationship with food – in fact, we try to remove morality from the mix.
I know that that is probably misreading this one so if the deliberate inventory is something that can be transformational for you, do it!
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
I think admitting that you have a problem with food is probably helpful. I don’t know if I would call it a WRONG – just a problem you need help with.
Step 6: We’re entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character
I don’t think someone is born with a character defect. I think in every way we interact with the world, we are being shaped by our experiences and messages we’ve internalized, and there is nothing inherently wrong with any of us. Even if we consider a mass murderer… there’s a reason someone got to that point (I am in no way defending a mass murderer, by the way 😬)! Plus, I would definitely not be reassured if a mass murderer says they are ready to have a higher power remove their defects. I think we’ll be waiting a really long time.
Bottom line: the idea that we’re born with a character defect removes ALL aspects of increasing our awareness, our empowerment to make changes, level of responsibility, and ultimately, our hope.
Step 7: Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings
I think that it’s great to have faith to believe it’s possible someone will remove your shortcomings… but at the same time, you’ve gotta put in the work yourself.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we have harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
You should NOT be willing to make amends to all people in your past. I think it’s really tricky when it comes to someone who has a history of trauma or toxic relationships. In my experience, that is a large portion of the people I encounter. Telling you to make amends with someone who is manipulative and caused you a lot of pain may not be the clearest answer.
That makes this step so complicated and I think treading carefully is the way to go. Definitely need the help of a therapist here.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
Ok, I like the “except” part! Not sure why they wouldn’t refer to YOU here as well… 🤔
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it
This is actually pretty good! When you do something that affects people that is harmful, it’s good to point it out, admit it, and be aware of it. In theory, I like this one.
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out
You know what? I’m just gonna take the first few words. Pray and meditate – if that works for you – then that’s wonderful.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs
You are NOT going to become a different person when you heal your relationship with food. I hope you don’t think that.
There are very small steps you can take as you start to heal your relationship with food… but this just feels so heeby-jeeby. Plus the missionary part.
What’s the issue?
It seems to me that Overeaters Anonymous labels compulsive overeating as a disease.
On the one hand, that could be incredibly validating. It’s not your fault.
On the other hand, it could be incredibly depressing. To feel like you have a disease that you’ll never recover from is potentially crushing… versus if you feel like you can work through it and one day recover, you have hope.
For me, I want to work with people who want to heal their relationship with food. I want people to be motivated, hopeful, and to understand there is SO much more to their relationship with food than just managing it.
That might mean getting curious and asking yourself: “Why did I become this way to begin with? What’s driving my relationship with food? What feels chaotic?” That, to me, is so much more hopeful, and honestly, more accurate.
Tools of Recovery
They talk about their tools of recovery, such as:
Going to meetings
Reading the literature
Action plan
Sponsors
Plan of eating
They’re saying that they don’t endorse any specific diet… but I have a feeling their plan of eating does not promote intuitive eating. It’s probably just the same restriction (or “abstaining”) you’ve always known… and then perpetuating your relationship with food to confirm this idea that you’re a compulsive overeater.
It’s a vicious cycle… but in theory, the idea of a plan of eating is a good one.
Final Thoughts
I’m probably a little bit skeptical and cynical here. And maybe a little bit harsh. I do apologize if this has been offensive – seriously, Overeaters Anonymous works for you, I truly love that for you!
My main intention with my sarcasm is to point out how some of this is very different from the way I approach eating disorder recovery, and if we subscribe to this, it could potentially be harmful.
What do you guys think? Let me know your thoughts by replying to my newsletter or finding me on Instagram at @rachelleheinemann!
Tweetable Quotes
“There’s so much more to your relationship with food than managing it.” – Rachelle Heinemann
“I’ve seen people walk through the door with an eating disorder and come out the other side with no eating disorder. If that’s an option for you, why wouldn’t we entertain that?” – Rachelle Heinemann
“The idea that you’re born with a character defect as opposed to, there’s a reason why we’re the way that we all, removes all aspects of increasing our awareness, increasing our empowerment to make changes, and our hope that we can make changes.” – Rachelle Heinemann